Up To December

from by The Hoils Dilemma

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The last song I wrote in 2016. This was written on December 28th, a pretty eventful day for me, and the album was named as a result. This is the only song with guitar on the album, but I thought the sound of that fit it better. I hope you guys enjoyed the album and this song, and thank you for listening!


Here I am, in my bed again, staring at the wall
And wondering how many pills it would take for me to fall
Back into that sleepiness I’ve been feeling in my heart all night
And wondering how of your affirmations it’d take to get it right

Because all week I’ve been lying here, waiting to leave my room
But I can’t get rid of this feeling, the walls look a pale blue
That tethers me, staring at my bookshelf, looking at pages and unopened opportunities

They say that songwriting comes from experience
And if that’s so, I’m sorry, this song must be really shitty
And I don’t know what else to do, and I don’t know how to tell you
That right now I just really need your help, and I don’t know where to go
Or how to talk to, anyone else
And I really wish you could see it in my eyes
But you can’t, and I’m always wondering why
Because right now, I don’t have a clue
And right now, the only thing I could use would be you


from Up To December, released January 15, 2017
Thank you to everyone who I got to know this year, to everyone who supported me while I wrote and recorded this album, and to everyone who made me feel better about music in general. Also, I want to specifically thank Ray for being there, sometimes unknowingly, while I was up late at night writing these songs and supporting everything I did.



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The Hoils Dilemma North Carolina

I just write songs and things like that. All of my recordings are low quality, so hopefully you like that sort of thing.

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